Tips for Caring for Your Nervous System Under 47

I’m not a historian… but my bones are.

My body remembers this. My Jewish cells are screaming. (They’re also scared as fuck to admit in writing that my cells are, in fact, Jewish.) How the fuck did we get here? Elon Nazi saluting, 200 executive orders on day one… He told us all that he was going to do this, and people didn’t believe him… or maybe they did. Gods. That scares me almost more. But I don’t know that I have the time or energy to even begin to unpack that shadowy shit… so I won’t.

How the fuck did we get here? Wait… that’s maybe another question for the historians.

The question I’m wanting to answer is, *what do I do now?* What do we do with our collective dysregulation? Our numbed disbelief scrolling the news (for me, that’s the Reddit “Popular” section). How do we find our ground in the sea of disbelief, especially when our systems are wanting to dissociate because we feel the imminent threat to our livelihoods and world?

I feel lost as I ask that. This feels hard… but I also deal with this all day long. I’m a body-centered psychotherapist. I’m a nervous system regulator. I help people get grounded when they face their inner battles and dive into historical traumas, events, and stories that live in their systems. Sometimes that’s intergenerational trauma. Sometimes it’s dysregulation because of a comment a teacher made when they were 11. Today, it’s because we are living under an -ist. A fascist, racist, sexist, rapist, misogynist, narcissist (this is not an official diagnosis, obviously, since I can’t do that because he isn’t my client… but I’ll leave this here: [The Guardian article](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/oct/24/trump-nyt-ad-george-conway-pac)).

How do we get grounded today? That’s what I want to help with. Our bodies are having a response to a threat today… or maybe it’s tomorrow… or soon. There’s a threat of a threat. Orders signed. Dangers coming… but in my world today, I do not see any Nazis outside my office door as I write this. My physical safety is okay right now. My mixed-race, mixed-immigrant family is okay right now. We are okay.

Step 1: Take a Break from Media

Pause. Look at the beautiful trees covered in snow. Sit down, eat some breakfast, and savor your coffee. Play with your pets or kids. Watch your favorite show. The future is never actually guaranteed… but this moment is. This one is the only one we have. Chop wood. Carry water. Try to be as present as possible in our mundane tasks.

It’s okay if we don’t get it right… or we check out and aren’t present… but if you find yourself doom-scrolling in overwhelm, just try to come back to the present moment. Take a breath and look around. Savor this.

Step 2: Use Your Body as a Guide

Your body knows what it needs. On Inauguration Day, I found myself closing cupboard doors harder than normal as I stress-cleaned my kitchen. I noticed… and it felt so *good* to just close them harder. I thought, \*Oh, I would like to do more of this. Yes. Please. \*I was angry. It was in my muscles. I was scared. I was pissed… but my mind knew that I didn’t want to slam cupboards—I actually wanted to rage because of everything going on. I’m not a violent person… but my anger was a reminder that there has been a violation occurring in my world. Our anger shows up when there’s a violation of boundaries and respect.

It was in my body… I was deep-down furious that this was happening. I decided to find a safe place to really let myself do what it wanted to do. I went to my bedroom when my kiddo and husband were out of the house and I let myself hit a pillow and scream into it. I rage screamed. I felt it through my whole core, tightening in my back muscles… in a way I don’t know I’ve ever felt. I was feeling it for me… but also for those who might not be safe enough to use their voices. It’s for all of us.

After screaming, I cried. I wept. I bawled. Another wave of rage came through after a few minutes… then I let that pass too. It came through me and it subsided. That’s how our feelings often work. They come in waves… and if we can safely feel them with a therapist or on our own, they will often move through… letting all that internal energy go. I was tired after, but I felt cleared… at least enough for now. I have a feeling my screaming pillows will be used again.

If this all seems intense, that’s totally fair. Doing that shit is scary, but I’ve just had practice and have found it to be amazing. Find a Gestalt therapist near you if you’d like to try.

If you don’t want to do this, I encourage you to move your body in whatever way you can. Dance. Mosh pit. Run and scream through a forest trail. Find a punching bag and imagine it’s a Nazi. Throw snowballs at a tree (watch out, squirrels!). Express physically in a way to get it out of your body without causing harm.

Step 2.1: Tend to Sadness

Your body might just be sad… or shut down. Maybe anger isn’t present right now, and that’s okay. Just tend to yourself like it’s a little scared kiddo. What would help? Want to get covered by your coziest jammies, a blanket, and a cup of tea? Perfect. Need a bath? Great. Make sure you’re getting back to foundational self-care: water, nourishment, sleep, movement, and joy. What’s one thing you know brings you joy? A favorite book? Spending time with a friend or lover? A trail near you? Sitting in a coffee shop? Just start here… start with tending yourself, protecting yourself, and listening the best you can. Let yourself know that you’ve got your back.

Step 3: Protect Yourself Like a Little Emotional Turtle Shell

We’re getting tons of info, news, horrible shit, confusing shit, and absurd shit thrown at us right now. I’m not 100% sure that it’s intentional… but I have a feeling it is. When we get swamped with all the things, we’re more likely to get overwhelmed and shut down. If we get shut down, we can't respond... if we get shut down, we can't fight back. 

I sure as hell did. But then, when I got in my little turtle shell, I was like, *Wait… I actually know that change is possible.* It’s not over. I got regulated, and I felt more hope. All of our ancestors have dealt with SO MUCH SHIT! Illness, wars, family hurt, scarcity, famine. We have a lot of ancestors, y’all… and somehow we are here. If you go back 17 generations to the year 1500… you have 262,142 ancestors. Like… you fucking made it. They did. And you are here. We can get through a lot. You literally adapted and evolved to be resilient enough to get here… so guess what? You are the most prepared person of your ancestry to get through this. You got this, motherfucker!

This is the equivalent of getting bombarded by a ton of arrows at the beginning of a medieval battle… put your shields up. And when it passes, get ready to fight. Take a breath. We have work to do. Let’s do it.

Step 4: Tend Your Own Garden

There’s an amazing Buddhist psychotherapist and teacher, Jack Kornfield, who has an incredible teaching about injustice and suffering in the modern world. Like, what do we do when we’re facing all the suffering, climate change, oppression, rights being taken away, resources being scarce and hoarded, and it’s so fucking big we feel like we can’t do anything? In these situations, we just come back to tending our own gardens.

That could be a physical garden. That could be our internal garden. That could be our community garden. When the world’s problems feel too big, just remember to come back to your own garden. Tending your garden means there will be food for you and your neighbors for the season to come. Taking care of your community and connections means there will be support for the season to come. Taking care of your internal garden means you will be grounded and resourced to offer care for yourself and others for the season to come.

In the talk on this, (Which I highly recommend you check out here [https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=jack+kornfield+tending+your+own+garden&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid\:cd4b1701,vid:0W0ejAuERRc,st:0](https://www.google.com/search?client=safari\&rls=en\&q=jack+kornfield+tending+your+own+garden\&ie=UTF-8\&oe=UTF-8#fpstate=ive\&vld=cid\:cd4b1701,vid:0W0ejAuERRc,st:0)) Jack asks about our "seeds."

What kind of seeds are you planting and tending? Ignorance, hate, fear—these bring enormous suffering. Or, are you planting generosity, clarity, gratitude, compassion, mutual respect? Consciousness has all of these seeds embedded in it. Which seeds would you like to grow?

Reflect in yourself—what are the seeds you plant with your words? With your deeds? What are the seeds that you water? 

In these times, our actions...even when they seem small, have huge ripple effects. If someone is feeling overwhelmed and you meet them with care and kindness, it could literally change the outcome of their day. If someone is doing well and they are dumped on with hate, that also could literally change the outcome of their day.

It’s Time to Show Up for Ourselves and Each Other

Let’s be clear: this isn’t theoretical. The things we’re experiencing—the fear, the chaos, the injustice—are 100% real. They are happening right now, and they’re deeply impacting so many people, especially immigrants, LGBTQ+ folks, and BIPOC communities. This isn’t something we can ignore, and it’s not something we can get through by shutting down. We need to be here, awake, and grounded—for ourselves, and for each other.

Taking care of yourself isn’t just about surviving—it’s about showing up strong enough to fight back. It’s about making sure you have the energy, the grounding, and the resilience to step into the battle when the time comes. Because this isn’t just about you or me—it’s about all of us.

So, take your breaks. Rage and cry when you need to. Tend your gardens, both internal and external. And remember: you are here because generations of resilience, survival, and strength live in your bones. You are powerful, and you’re not alone. Together, we’ve got this.

Take a deep breath. Let’s show up. Let’s fight. Let’s grow the seeds of change.